You are not a bad mother if you don't breastfeed.

The doctors, the research, the literature - it all says breast is best. But when you are a diabetic, it's not as simple a choice.
Blood glucose is difficult to control during pregnancy. I went crazy high and crazy low and worried constantly during my pregnancy. Frequent communication with my endocrinologist was key.
But the lows.
I don't know about you, but when I would go low during my pregnancy, it was hard to bring my sugar level back up. As in, a juice box, a banana, and a sandwich would bring that 47 up to a mere 80, and it was terrifying. It was difficult. As if we didn't already have enough on our plates!

 I had planned on breastfeed until my eighth month of pregnancy. My WIC adviser and OB had told me they had never heard of complications with diabetics and breastfeeding. But, they hadn't worked with many diabetics. I finally did my own research and after exhausting a number of useless sources, discovered that diabetes and breastfeeding pose that risk of those devastating lows that are stubborn to return to a normal level. Every time you breastfeed, you should eat, because the drainage of milk from your body is hard on your glucose and will make you go low.
I hate going low. It makes you feel weak, shaky, disoriented, and ill. It's bad enough in itself before you factor in the added difficulty of it not coming back up easily.
I was not prepared for this. I had already spent month after month worrying about it, and I didn't think my sanity could handle several more. And what about in the middle of the night? Was I prepared to be exhausted waking several times a night to feed both my baby and myself? And what about during the days, when my husband and everyone I knew would be at work, unable to help me should something terrible happen? Every diabetic knows a bad low can lead to unconsciousness. I couldn't risk that with a newborn baby to care for!
It was a hard decision, but now that my 11 month old is healthy, bright, and amazing, I know I made the right one for both of us. We fed her formula from her first meal in the hospital on.
Don't let anyone make you feel like you are a bad mother for not choosing the breast.
You have to choose what is right for you and your child.

Pump Therapy VS. Injections

Before you know anything else, know this:

OBGYNs are not trained to work with insulin pumps. That amazing creation that may make your diabetic life so much easier may be a hindrance during your pregnancy. 

The perinatologists (special care doctors for high-risk pregnancies) don't like the pump much. They wouldn't work with me unless I switched to injections, with which we could enact a sliding scale. 

I was already going through so many changes - physical, emotional, hormonal - I didn't think I could handle another big one. I haven't been on injections for 8 years.

We ended up with a great team, however. I began seeing a new endocrinologist in the same network (and conveniently same building!) as my OB, who was incredibly supportive.

This was helpful because my numbers were crazy. Bad numbers are always a worry but during pregnancy, it's not just your health anymore. 

This creates a whole new dynamic for the type 1 diabetic. 

Pregnancy is not easy. Pregnancy with diabetes is even harder.

But it's worth it.